Parenthood and gospel growth
Brent Bounds, Parenthood: The Lab of Gospel Growth :
"I will never forget the potty-training process with my first son.
Although he caught on fairly quickly, he had a habit of willful
resistance that often resulted in physical pain for him. While I had my
moments of empathy as he writhed in the pain of constipation, my
frustration grew as I expected him to see that he was the cause of his
own pain. Our battle finally culminated one afternoon in the second
floor bathroom of my in-laws' house. My son was sitting on the toilet in
obvious pain, clinging to the resistance and fear that prevented him
from seeing that he had the power to change his circumstances. I was
perched on the edge of the bathtub directly across from him, shelling
out advice/coaching/admonitions, when he finally had enough. He leaned
forward, looked directly into my eyes, and let out a yell of desperation
and frustration that truly came from the depths of his being. I, being
the mature one, responded in like manner, with a similar sound of
exasperation. Time froze for a moment as we sat stupefied by what we had
just witnessed from the other. It was almost as though we were both
asking the question, "Did you really just do that?"
Then, as if a wave of grace washed over us, not of our own doing, we
both began to cry. I moved from my perch to sitting on the floor, he
climbed off the toilet, reached for me, and crawled onto my lap. We held
each other and sat weeping on the bathroom floor. Looking back on this
low moment in my parenting journey, I was overcome by my selfishness,
lack of patience, and desire for control. After seeing the ravages of my
heart exposed in such a raw manner, particularly to someone for whom I
would give my life, I wondered in that moment if I could ever recover.
And yet I now recall that day as one of the most intimate experiences
with my son. We both reached the end of ourselves, we both responded by
laying bare the true nature of our hearts, and we both embraced each
other in a strength that only the gospel of grace could have given.
God has taken this unsettling realization that it's not about me and
transformed its sting into a soothing comfort. Though you might be
initially disconcerted, you'll eventually realize by the grace of God
that this most freeing truth brings the greatest relief."