honesty

this post is the second in a series on numbers 11, read part 1 here

^{Numbers 11: 10-14
10} Moses heard the people of every family wailing, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. ¹¹ He asked the LORD, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? ¹² Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? ¹³ Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, 'Give us meat to eat!' ¹⁴ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. ¹⁵ If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin."

Moses is stressed (who wouldn't be with a million or so people moaning at you) and basically says to God that he would rather God killed him than continue like this. Moses is crying out to God with brutal honesty. God can take it. God knows it anyway. Do our prayers have that same sort of brutal honesty if that's how we are feeling? We don't have to censor ourselves before God, clean ourselves up, try and make it look like we're handling it well. We are weak and in desperate need of God and don't need to pretend otherwise.